wish I had some spaghetti

so I could throw it against the wall and see what sticks. It may be a more productive approach for working on my final project for my thesis prep class.

A still image from an After Effects experiment with shapes and pattern.

Matilda, beloved cat

Tillie went to cat heaven this morning after trying to recover from cyst removal surgery a few months ago. She had been losing weight and we found out recently she had cancer also. We will miss her so much. It is very sad indeed. I feel bad for my step-daughter Vanessa. She took great care of Tillie. Vanessa previously thought she might want to be a veterinarian but realized these types of situations would be difficult. Yes, she is very kind hearted. V, I am so sorry honey.

These pictures show Tillie how I want to remember her, sweet and content.

We are going to spread her ashes in our garden.

forget art, pretty pictures and flowers are more fun

I went to the Denver Botanic Gardens on Tuesday, Earth Day. I took over 200 pictures with my new Nikon point and shoot - not a DSLR alas, but I think it is great anyway. My mission was to take pictures of the art on display for the Urban Nature exhibition to use in a video class project. I'm refining a promotional motion piece.
It was a lovely day despite the crowds due to free admission. I'm not a skilled photographer but I could happily spend a lifetime snapping pix of all the plants and garden areas. I particularly like the contrast of colors and textures between the spring blooms and the still bare remnants of fall and winter plants.
I was happy to recognize plants there that exist in my own yard. I planted some perennials and a few pansies on Sunday. I am normally cautious of frost and wait until Memorial Day to plant but I couldn't resist the temptation of playing in the garden for a couple of hours. Over the years the backyard has developed nicely. The goal is to have extensive color during every season throughout the whole space.
Steve has been a contractor of custom concrete for several landscapers. One of them drew up a plan to revamp our front yard. Time and funding constraints have put this on hold for awhile.
Anyway, going to the Botanic Gardens never fails to make me almost giddy with happiness. It is a great escape.

I fear I'm becoming what I despise

When I returned to higher ed I made a solemn and determined vow to not be a poor student. As graduation comes closer to reality I have lost a good portion of my optimism. I'm discouraged and feel like I can't compete with the talent and technical skill level of most of my classmates. I have missed classes and assignment deadlines due to some unrealistic notion of trying to produce high quality work. I get tunnel vision and bogged down in projects despite planning, scheduling, and untold hours of effort. I become frustrated and can't let go of things at the appropriate time. Today I worked on two video pieces I already turned in because they were less than adequate upon submission. I'm ashamed of myself. I never, ever, missed deadlines at my paid jobs. Oh, well - the good news is the end of the semester is near.

thesis paper

It is still in progress, although it doesn't seem progress is the correct word to describe what has transpired. I'm not sure why I am so stymied by this particular assignment. I have received an "A" on every research paper I have done during my college careers. OK, I take that back, one of my Multimedia professors gave me a "C" on a short paper - there is some irony in there somewhere. I definitely like researching and writing about art. I am putting an unrealistic burden on myself by expecting this paper be as perfect as humanly possible.
I must also work on three video projects due in the next week. In typical fashion, I was initially enthusiastic about doing them but now I'm losing interest.